This past weekend was Easter, and you unfortunately may have noticed that your Easter baskets were a little lighter this year. This is sadly because of the terrible economic turmoil the United States is experiencing and tariffs on the egg trade from Easter Island. The Yowl sent our emissary, E. Aster Bunnymund, to Easter Island to conduct an interview with the titular bunny. Here is the transcript:

Bunnymund: Thank you for meeting with me, your esteemed bounciness. What challenges have you faced this year that have made it so much more difficult to distribute eggs?

Easter Bunny: It’s a combined pressure from the tariffs and failed jelly bean harvests this year. Jelly beans account for some of our largest sales over the holiday, but the rains haven’t come yet this year. My ovaries run fallow. It wasn’t always like this. My eggs are all dried out and I haven’t been popping them out like I used to be. It’s just a difficult time.

Bunnymund: What are you wearing this fine evening?

Easter Bunny: Topshop fluffy faux fur midlength coat, Alaska Gear VBX bunny boots and Bergdorf Goodman Prada crystal-embellished satin headband all underneath a realistic rabbit-bunny adult fursuit custom from fursuitcustom.com. That’s a plug. Please check them out. They do fantastic work.

Bunnymund: Are you single?

Easter Bunny: I’m in several exclusive relationships. I prefer to keep my personal life private.

Bunnymund: Thoughts on transitioning from the Easter Bunny to a Playboy Bunny?

Easter Bunny: How much white powder will there be?

Bunnymund: Thoughts on transitioning in general?

Easter Bunny: Pro. Unless it’s to a man. I hate men.

Bunnymund: What would you like to see in GTA VI?

Easter Bunny: Fight clubs, pet stores and Easter mods. Oh, and GTA Online better be out on release.

Editors’ Note: Unfortunately, the rest of this interview could not be completed, as E. Aster Bunnymund passed out due to sleep deprivation and had to be shipped in a large egg back to our headquarters in Union.