For basketball fans and gambling degenerates alike, March Madness is one of the best times of the year. We’re already through the first weekend, but there are still plenty of opportunities to hurl violent obscenities toward college students. To help you decide which future accountant you place your mortgage on, we’ve curated a list of five fades sure to stoke your addiction.

Florida: The SEC champs were popular picks to go all the way entering the tournament, but a shaky performance against UConn should cast doubt on their chances to cut down the nets. They also have the toughest path among 1 seeds to the Final Four, going through Maryland and likely Texas Tech.

St. John’s: Rick Pitino has once again completed a miraculous program turnaround and now has his eyes on a third natty. The Johnnies have plenty of “aura” and play a gritty, physical style of basketball not seen in Madison Square Garden this century, but unfortunately they lost to Arkansas last round and are already out. 

Carolina Hurricanes: The ‘Canes have recovered admirably from the disaster that was the Mikko Rantanen deal, including a recent eight-game win streak. Carolina has a deep rotation with balanced scoring and their signature airtight defense that seems ready to cure their postseason woes, but they play ice hockey and not basketball.

Chappell Roan: Last year’s ‘Best New Artist’ at the GRAMMYs is perfectly poised to avoid a sophomore slump. Her ambitious shift to country is off to a good start with the recent release of her single “The Giver” to critical and commercial acclaim. Unfortunately, she can’t run a pick and roll to save her life.

Davidson: They did not make the tournament. Further analysis can be found in Perspectives and complaints can be forwarded to [email protected].