Think you got a bad housing lottery timeslot? My room is a fucking ______(Utility Room on Campus).
RLO has revised their housing amenities. Instead of the standard set-up, students will receive: One (1) shared _____________ (Inconvenient Object) repurposed as a mattress, along with basic amenities such as _________ (Object you Could Find at a Hardware Store), _______ (Object you Could Find in the Bathroom) and ________ (Object you Often Lose—or Perhaps an Object you COULDN’T Find).
Move-in day had my _________ (Body Part) ______ (Verb Ending in -ing). When I arrived my roommate was already in the room, and guess where he placed my bed? _________ (Location that is not Your Room).
I was randomly assigned my new roommate, whose favorite nighttime activity is _______ (Something you do that is Loud or Messy). The walls are all _______ (Adjective), so I can’t even hang anything on the walls. At least our room has a window facing ________ (Boring Campus Structure). Unfortunately, in the laundry room ________ (Terrifying Incident) happened to my laundry.
My mom took me to CVS and purchased me ______ (a Type of Bodily Ointment). I can’t wait for Wildcat Weekend, though! My _____________ (Name of Dead Relative I Don’t Know is Dead Yet) is visiting! My parents are even going to bring my dog _______ (Name of Dead Pet I Don’t Know is Dead Yet)!
But I can’t wait to start my classes! I’m so excited to meet all of my professors. I’m really excited for __________ (Course that Won’t Make it Through Add-Drop). Here I come, _____ (Grade Year) Fall 2025!
Note: Please remember housing is not a right: it’s a randomized annual ritual governed by an algorithm that allows RLO to deflect blame.